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In Vino Veritas
|time = Approx. 16 Minutes |year = 2260s |stardate = 5442.8 }} Summary :"Captain's log, stardate 5442.8. First officer Spock and I have been directed to act as Federation representatives to discuss conflicting claims to the metal-rich uninhabited world about Star WWB7. We are proceeding on course to the neutral world of Pomplance to meet with Ambassador Koft of the Klingon Empire and Envoy Bendes of the Romulan Sphere." Scotty tells Kirk to enjoy himself, but to ensure that both the Romulans and Klingons know where the Federation stands. Kirk responds that the only way everyone agreed to this conference was to limit them to the actual site of the conference, the Pomplancian Off-Planet Mission. Kirk and Spock beam down to the planet and encounter a man named Amilar from the Bureau of interstellar affairs. He notes that they are several minutes late, and takes them to meet the other attendees. He also tells them that the other Federation representative had already arrived, his credentials in order. Spock and Kirk know nothing of this representative, named "Sprat I believe, Jack Sprat." They enter the chamber to overhear the Koft complaining to Bendes about the subterfuge and trickery that the Federation employs. Koft introduces his aide, K'Tail, first officer aboard the Avenger, and Bendes introduces his own aide, Subaltern Rhuox. Once the introductions are complete, Koft thanks Kirk for arriving so quickly, and Bendes suggests a toast with a local wine. They settle to business, but Spock interrupts and points out the other Human, Jack Sprat. He claims to be a neutral observer. However, Spock seems to recognize him, but cannot place him. Bendes and Koft seem to have no issue with his presence. Interestingly, as they begin discussing their claims, both Koft and Bendes disclose that their governments really have no claim to the planet. The Klingon claim is based on a landing by a drunken scout pilot and a rumor, while the Romulan claim is based on a wandering prospector that may never have made planet-fall. These strange truths lead to diplomacy being dropped and insults being thrown at each other, before Spock interrupts again. He points out that "Jack Sprat" is really Coriolanus Quince, the infamous galactic troublemaker. He asks Quince how he sabotaged the gathering. It is revealed that Quince has drugged the wine with a drug that compels people to tell the truth. The delegates agree to postpone the conference to a later date. A new conference is called to deal with Quince and his actions. The Romulans want to punish him, but the Klingons insist that they can drag out the torture for longer. Everyone leaves the conference and returns to their ships. Kirk asks Uhura to call Dr. McCoy to the bridge to help them come up with an anti-serum for the truth drug. It does appear that no crime had been committed, so Kirk lets Quince go, but warns him that if Kirk encounters him again, he will personally serve him up to Koft and Bendes. Memorable quotes "I might have known you'd look at it ''(referring to Scott's suggestion of sightseeing as a waste of time) like that Mr. Spock." "''Mr. Scott, I did not know that you exhibited tendencies toward telepathy." : - Scotty and Spock "Spock, you enjoyed it! I didn't think that you cared for alcoholic beverages." "Protocol, Captain, required it." : - Kirk and Spock, after drinking a toast with Koft and Bendes "Which would you rather have: Peace and little lies, or truth and constant war?" : - Kirk, describing why truth serums and diplomacy don't mix Background information * This story was not accompanied by a comic book telling of the story. * "In Vino Veritas" is a Latin motto and approximately translates to "In wine is truth." This saying notes that people say more than they often intend to when intoxicated. * Bendes, the Romulan Envoy refers to the Romulan homeworld as "Romula", as opposed to the canon twin planets of Romulus and Remus. Likewise, the Romulan Empire is referred to as the "Romulan Hegemony". Releases * This story was released a total of six times during the Peter Pan Records run. It could be found on Records #1, #3, #11 (a re-release of #1), #16 (a re-release of #3), and #23 (the final record released). Characters ; James T. Kirk : ''Enterprise'' . ; Spock :Enterprise exec and science officer. ; Leonard McCoy : Enterprise surgeon. ; Montgomery Scott : Enterprise chief engineer. ; Hikaru Sulu : Enterprise helmsman. ; Uhura : Enterprise communications officer. Mentioned only. ; Kyle : Enterprise transporter chief. ; Amilon : Host of the Pomplancian Bureau of interstellar affairs. ; Bendes : Romulan envoy. ; Rhuox : Romulan subaltern. ; Koft : Klingon Ambassador. Kirk has dealt with him previously. ; K'Tail : Klingon first officer aboard the Avenger. ; Coriolanus Quince : Troublemaker and inventor. Has caused several catastrophes (including ruining three Federation worlds) in the last ten years. Used the alias "Jack Sprat". References ; Pomplance : Peaceful and neutral world. Site of the conference. ; Star WWB7 : A star located near the Federation, Klingon Empire, and the Romulan Empire. ; Romula : The homeworld of the Romulans. Could be actually referring to "Romulus". ; Romulan Hegemony : An alternate name for the Romulan Empire. ; Avenger : A Klingon battle cruiser. ; Demostonies IV : A planet on which Quince promised to double the grain output, but managed to turn all of the grain into weeds that made everyone nearby giggle uncontrollably. ; Quatar : A desert world where Quince – in trying to quadruple the planet's water supply – turned what water there was into pink Jell-O (due to an unforeseen polymerization factor). Category:Audiobooks